"We should stop looking up... and start looking in."
You see, I have had my beliefs for a long time now. Though I am not a very religious person when it comes to the structure of a church or a place of worship, I do hold my own faith in this place, this world. Throughout my years here I have come to learn that we as a people, as a race, need something to believe in. I just think that somewhere along the way we have lost the ability to believe in ourselves.
Take our feelings for instance: the way we appreciate true beauty- a sunset, the wind on the trees, a child's smile or laugh. Take the feeling of silence with someone that you love. There is a DNA and spirit within that feeling that undoubtedly resides within us all.
... And that is my religion- the spirit of humanity. "The Soul of the Universe" you could say - the very same force that creates our dreams.
Lately I have started more and more to try and find this consciousness within myself. Our lives are filled with tasks from the moment we wake up in the morning and pour our cup of coffee to when we put our heads on our pillows at night. Maybe there is something to be said for practicing a little silence, a little patience.
There was this dream I kept having, and the more I had it the more I remembered it when I woke. I would close my eyes to go to sleep and I would find myself completely alone, though I walked among many. I looked upon their faces and spoke their names but they did not hear or see me. It was like this for years before I came to a road, long and forlorn. It stared me down with eyes that saw souls, and it did not speak a word. I then woke from that place and found myself 24 again, with the same lover, family, and friends. "Sanctuary!" I screamed, for this was not the end.
... And I'll be the first to admit that I'm scared. Not knowing what is in store is horrifying. So tap into that power within yourself and talk to people. Reach out a hand, say hello, hold open a door. You won't lose anything from it. I promise you. Maybe when enough of us stop to breathe long enough to see that we are not that different, than things will get better. Days won't pass by slowly as if the second hand is piercing our skin. The world we share together won't be so split by hatred and "not knowing."
I think the first step to healing and letting people in, is to get out of our own way. Maybe then the magic you have been shutting out your whole life will find a way in. In saying that, I don't think I'll spend much more time at Future's door, peering under the cracks and imagining what it might give, for fear I'll rise from my hands and knees one day, with an aching back, bleeding eyes, and no life left to live.
I'll spend some more time believing in this thing we have here all together- this life. I'll spend some more time closing my eyes and breathing. A real deep breath. I ask you to do the same.
What is it that you feel?
What is it that you see?